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I’m polyamorous and believe the concept of found family can be genuinely wonderful and essential for those with abusive families growing up. But many go into it with rose tinted glasses and don’t take into account any biases or do the work to undo any power dynamics. For example if there’s a big imbalance in income/financial resources you NEED to work to balance that and not end up taking advantage of someone dependent on you cause even well meaning people will do so unconsciously. My partner makes significantly more money than me or her other partner and tbh I could not afford to house myself on my own. So the money is pooled and split into 3 separate accounts in our polycule to avoid the possibility of abuse. It’s not perfect. If she really wanted to she could cut me off from any future money but I have savings and autonomy over the money I do have access to. I do a lot of housework but i work with the other two to spread it more evenly and minimize our labor so I don’t end up becoming the polycule maid (which has happened in past arrangements).
Huh??
If all of your friend groups are like that … maybe the problem is the one common denominator.
Hard disagree on that one. If every group of people you are involved with is “toxic,” then it’s probably time for a long hard look in the mirror.
Well that escalated quickly
“Incest” in this case refers to sexual relationships between close friends in a group.
The word “incestuous” is often used to describe when people in friend groups end up sleeping with (or even just dating, I guess) each other within the group which will almost always lead to complications.
I hate to say it, but this feels like an unfortunate personal experience being overgeneralized. Friend groups can be incredible. They can also be what OP describes, and rightfully calls out given how toxic those situations are, but decrying the concept of the friend group attributes the problem far too broadly.
Where meme?
Y’all need different friends
What the fuck??
This isn’t a meme, this is just a snapshot of a bad relationship.
Y’all need better friends and/or partners
There are shitty poly people, there are shitty monogamous people?
Meh.
I think this is just a review of Deep Space 9.
Farscape
Having been in the poly community this is really accurate. It’s messy and complicated and you have waaaay less fun than you think.
It’s a big reason why I avoid people now.
It can be messy and it can be complicated, but it really doesn’t have to be.
I know and bunch of people including myself who are very adult about their (romantic) long-term relationships. Those people tend to work hard in themselves and their relationships, especially in the first few years though.
Idk, my polycule is complicated enough to need a graph for explanation and we’re having a wonderful time
Granted I keep my partners separate, as in they don’t date each other, so if a breakup happens it doesn’t cause a whole mess
Yeah, the ones I was in and saw were everybody fucking everybody and half of those bodies being insanely jealous.
That’s just an orgy with breaks.
You can love your chosen family, just don’t LOVE love your nuclear chosen family, or your first cousin chosen family members. Second counsin chosen family members should be fine, any chosen offspring should turn out fine and without any chosen malformations resulting from chosen inbreeding.
