• davel@lemmy.mlEnglish
    39·
    23 hours ago

    Sorry to hear about your wife’s dissatisfaction. Not every fuck is a five star fuck.

  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
    81·
    23 hours ago

    Off topic, but I still find it weird when things get framed this way. Was the partner raped or did they cheat? So strange to read about them being an inactive character as if they don’t have personal agency. That’s not a criticism of this post. It’s funny. It just reminded me of the particular phenomenon.

    • TheFogan@programming.devEnglish
      101·
      22 hours ago

      I do agree with you in the gist of it… something I find flat out stupid is how many people define the “homewrecker” as the outsider that was willing to have sex with a married adult. (hell some of the time they weren’t even aware that the person was married at the time).

      Don’t get me wrong, anyone who knowingly has sex with someone they are aware is in a committed relationship is still IMO 100% garbage of a human. But the actual blame for the marraige falling appart is the one who had trust to betray. I view that as the difference between stealing $20 from a stranger on the street, versus stealing $20 from a close friend or relative that absolutely trusts you.

      • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        72·
        22 hours ago

        Don’t get me wrong, anyone who knowingly has sex with someone they are aware is in a committed relationship is still IMO 100% garbage of a human

        I don’t get this. Maybe if it’s a partner of a friend or something, but generally it’s between you and the person you’re having sex with, and then whatever is between the other person and their partner, is their problem

        • TheFogan@programming.devEnglish
          81·
          21 hours ago

          I’d put the analogy as… selling someone a knife that you already know they plan to stab someone with. Yes obviously they are going to find a way to stab the person anyway unless you actively take the role of warning the person, but it’s hard to argue that it isn’t being complicit in a crime.

          For me I suppose I fall onto the far other end of it. I’ve had 3 different situations where a friend has informed me they were cheating on their partner. All 3 resulted in me, contacting their partners. For me even having the knowledge when I have had zero participation in the situation… is an overwhelming sense of guilt. While all 3 resulted in a loss of a friendship, and one was ineffective because the cheater succesfully reweaved the lies. My only regret is taking too long on the first one.

        • the_weez@midwest.social
          71·
          21 hours ago

          If I know somebody is willing to cheat on their spouse there’s no way I’m going to trust them with anything important. If their partner can’t trust them to not fuck other people then I’m not likely to trust them with much.

        • gibmiser@lemmy.world
          63·
          21 hours ago

          You participated in the act of adultery you turd. Maybe ita not your marriage, but you participated. You said yeah im OK with this because im getting something out of it.

          You are enabling the bad behavior. You are helping the bad person do the bad thing. You are being bad. Stop giving yourself a free pass just because you personally aren’t having any negative consequences.

            • gibmiser@lemmy.world
              33·
              19 hours ago

              Hahaha I don’t need religion to be a good person. Im not religious. Maybe you need it though since you are clearly struggling with the idea of right and wrong.

              Does helping nazis do nazi things that make you feel good make you a nazi? Pretty sure you have an opinion on that one. Maybe think about it. Just because you are only emotionally hurting a small number of people does not let you off the hook.

              Sorry its not what all you horny people want to hear.

              • DudleyMason@lemmy.ml
                12·
                3 hours ago

                Im not religious

                Everyone who believes in monogamy is religious. Sexual fidelity is a religious belief. You just think you’re special because the magical thinking you subscribe to is older than the latest batch of fairy tales humans have decided to believe in.

                Sorry it’s not what you prudish secular Mormons want to hear.

                • gibmiser@lemmy.world
                  11·
                  2 hours ago

                  Oh is that so? Thanks for educating me.

                  Now have you ever considered maybe some people want or prefer monogamy? Or are you so self obsessed with your rightness that you cant conceive of someone who prefers something different than you being anything other than just - wrong?

                  Really, if you want to boil it down so far you can say poly is just a different religious belief. Any “belief” is rooted in faith. Gee this is fun.

                  Oh and I dont believe in monogamy, I believe in choice and trying to respect other people’s choices, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone. If someone chooses monogamy or polyamory, good for them. You are the one trying to force your belief on others.

              • Psionicsickness@reddthat.com
                22·
                17 hours ago

                You go to Nazis? Really? I’m just banging your girl because you can’t get it done, don’t get mad at me.

                As far as I’m concerned, monogamy is a form of control, both from a societal perspective, and from those participating. It’s a form of trying to own another person, and it’s gross. I’m just helping someone trapped get free, you’re trying to maintain chains.

                • erin@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
                  3·
                  16 hours ago

                  As a poly person, nonmonagamy must be consensual for all partners involved. Having sex with someone you know to be in a committed, monogamous relationship is immoral. At best, you are willfully facilitating someone else’s victimization. We should not force nonmonagamy on others just as we wouldn’t want monagamy forced on us. Obviously, the cheating partner is far more in the wrong, but you’re wrong too.

                  Think of it this way, if you have a boundary in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, and someone else is aware of that boundary but helps break it, they’re a shitty person for that. Just because we are wired for polyamory does not mean everyone is, and forcing it onto others and calling it “breaking their chains” is gross. This behavior could easily ruin lives and break apart families, and trying to take the moral high ground when forcing your beliefs onto others and victimizing them is frankly ridiculous. Nonmonagamy must be ethical and consensual, or we’re just perpetuating stereotypes and harming the chance of future acceptance.

                  I hope you’re just the manosphere troll you come across as, and not someone that genuinely believes these things. You hurt other poly people and monagamous people alike with these behaviors.

                • gibmiser@lemmy.world
                  21·
                  16 hours ago

                  Yeah ok buddy, whatever narrative helps you feel better about getting your dick wet while you help someone hurt the person they supposedly care about.

                  If they need out help them get out instead of selfishly giving them an escape that doesn’t actually help them escape and actually makes things worse. You aren’t breaking the chains, you are helping her keep them on by letting her out to play in the fenced backyard before you crate her again.

                  Stop pretending to be noble and at least admit its selfish. Its not like its new, cheating has been around for as long as monogamy.

                  I am married, monogamous but would be into poly stuff if my partner was. But she isn’t and im not going to force that on her. Its called consent, you should try it.