At least you have one. :(

Fuck me, with my mom it’s always like

Hey, can you do me a quick favor? And it’s like fetch me a drink?

Then I get back and before I even hand her the fucking drink it’s like go get this package

then I deal with that and she’s like prove that there are an infinite twin primes

And I’m like, this is no longer a fucking quick favor, meanwhile the potato I was microwaving is on fire, and she wonders why I get stressed out

Oh man. When I’m with your mummy it’s always, “Your money’s on the dresser. Why are you still here?”