turtlesareneat

5 year old you didn’t know or care how much of that water is just bodily fluids and emanations and soaked diaper water.

If you believe imagining works, it actually will. Source: magic feedback loops for dummies

That’s cause dads are smart and know the kid ain’t gonna follow those instructions, so you gotta set them up to tell the truth promptly when they get back and shit’s gone sideways.

This but for porn

I got laid off right as I was having surgery last year, so I went to a few job interviews in a panic, on painkillers. At one point they were like “What do you think about XYZ” and whatever the acronym was, I had never even heard it. So I just looked around and said, “Acronyms, eh?” and laughed. And everyone else laughed, except one guy who realized I was bluffing, and that got super awkward real quick. But for a second, we all really connected over how fucking stupid it was. (MSP job for which I am grateful not to have)

I had a chef tell me this, that mint is the most human adapted of all the herbs. You can find it in cigarettes, in perfumes, in salads, toothpaste, jelly, ointments, etc etc. I never stopped to think about it, and then quite badly wanted a mint cigarette.

Now you know how many raises you can get before they fire you for being too old and costing too much. AKA “a career”

How many of these folks have a rack mounted somewhere in there… once you get into this degree of tech, you’re looking at folks with PoE systems on battery backup, maybe 5G backup circuits in case the internet is cut. It’s really not a crazy level of security, if you live in a high crime downtown area for instance. But I also don’t go around whipping my rack out in every conversation, and my house is old, so lots of folks don’t know how high tech the house really is. And wouldn’t until they saw the doorbell still glowing, Wifi still on during a power outage I suppose (Wifi is how we really see each other during power outages, and the sound of gennies for those rich bastards that can afford them)

I was for a while. Cut the “cable” in 2003 and was happy to pay a few bucks for a streaming service here or there, more convenient than pirating. But now… well I cancelled them all and am right back to where I was years ago. They are so happy to kill the golden goose.

Getting rid of visible clocks fixed this for me, and all the way to the bathroom and back so I can’t get the time when I go pee. I just assume it’s 12:30 and go back to bed no matter what. Unless the fucking sun is coming up around the edges, then it’s just “your bones are going to hurt today.”

I see you found Mr. Floofintooth

“…And my wife won’t shut up, anything you can do about that?”

That shit went so hard in 1981 tho

This is true in 2026. I bet at one point, auto workers had the same kind of thoughts about how robots could never build a whole car.

You’ll be given cushy jobs

I know someone with a 50s fridge, the inside is a giant lazy susan, very cool and unique. But yeah we did some back-of-envelope math, and it uses about 20x as much energy as my modern fridge.

My brother drove into town at 3am the year I got my dog, I left the door unlocked for him. In the morning I found my dog asleep on him. Yeah, hell of a guard dog.

I thought “cotorrito muerto” meant corn suicide so this meme was slightly funnier to me

I take my personal laptop in and have a docking station for it, so the good screens are at work too, but they have to be fairly porn-less and I can’t smoke weed AT them which, just dealbreaker.

It’s Sunday morning, the weekend is barely half over, no one is going to fuck that up with their freewheeling anxieties.