Holy shit…

Yeah that’s why I’m putting the pressure on now, while they’re all still breathing on their own.

I’m sorry but sometimes you’ve got to lie to them.

If they have something like gold-plated silverware or jewelry you can be more honest. You’ve still got to lie and tell them it sold for slightly more than it really sold for (they will bitch and moan anyway, wanting a super inflated price, but still), and give them a cut of what you got for it.

But if it’s something stupid like furniture nobody wants, or figurines, for dishware, you’ve got to lie to their faces and tell them you needed the money for credit card debt. That is the only way they’re going to stop tripping over their hoarded stuff and getting rescued by the fire department. “Please grandma give me this massive hoard of plates you have packed in cardboard in boxes all over the floor, I need it to pay off my non existent credit cards” and then throw that shit in the trash.

I’ll tell them on their death bed that I will totally sell their used figurines for 40 bajillion and that this is a reasonable price.

Loosely related: if your relatives ever give you anything to sell on Facebook Marketplace or something, they will insist on some sort of insane price which will not move. You lower the price dramatically and it finally sells after weeks and weeks of just sitting there. Knowing that your boomer relative will be angry that it sold for $25 rather than 40 bajillion dollars, you lie to them and say you sold it for $45. They bitch, shit themselves, scream and cry, give you a hard time all throughout Sunday dinner and then claim they’re going to sell their own stuff from now on. They never sell anything, or even attempt to do so. The end.