I saw Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (I think maybe I got that right) in the theater and had to sit in the front row because those were the only seats available. Everybody said what a beautiful movie that was but I wouldn’t know. I spent the whole time reading the subtitles and seeing only the bottom 10% of the screen.

I’m re-watching Memento and I’m like “damn, I can hear what everybody is saying clearly.” Clearly Nolan wasn’t born deaf.

Also, I’m straight, but why didn’t Guy Pearce become the hottest male actor in history?

Nobody ever made fun of my dancing. Women even complimented me on it a lot. I thought I sucked and that’s what mattered.

I like your graphic.

I was a teenager/college kid in the '80s. I would occasionally go dancing with friends but I never enjoyed it because I thought I was bad at it. Turns out everybody was a terrible fucking dancer then. Go look at any video of kids dancing from that decade and you’ll see what I mean. I’ve never seen a more definitive example of '80s dancing than this video. I wish I had known had bad everybody was because I would have enjoyed it a lot more.

historical accuracy in movies

It would be nice to have this occasionally.

I just tell people what team I’m a fan of (Cleveland Browns) and they back away slowly with a look that combines horror and pity.

There’s a ton of new housing construction where I live (Philly suburbs) but it’s almost entirely these $800K “town” houses (in the middle of a fucking field). One of the main companies building them is named “NV Homes”. I wondered who the initials “NV” stood for until I got it: “Envy” homes. It’s depressing to imagine people borrowing a fucking million dollars to buy a big cardboard box because they imagine other people will be jealous of them.

Your dad did the right thing. I got mine 95% done at the cost of tens of thousands of dollars and arthritis basically everywhere, just for the honor of paying $100 a month to park it at a U-haul lot. I know how to weld and rivet now, just as useless as the bus.

Skoolies for me. A few years ago I bought a used school bus and started converting it into a motorhome. I made an account at the main forum (skoolie.net) because there were people there that actually knew useful stuff, primarily about metalworking (which I’d never done before) and the mechanical aspects of bus ownership (which I still don’t know shit about).

Surprisingly (or maybe not) skooliers heavily tend towards being right-wing, trump-loving, gun-toting, immigrant-hating wankers. There are exceptions but they always end up being driven away. The thought of going to one of the annual skoolie gatherings is nightmare fuel for me.

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Hell yes, TIM was my second-favorite game of all time. Lemmings is really the best, though.

the priest/ monk class in the middle-ages

Lol as if those motherfuckers were celibate.

Hideous. Look at those fucking loose cables.

Try Lemmings while there’s still hardware around that can run it.

I did that once and the person laughed and said “really?”

Most houses in my neighborhood have Generacs, natural-gas powered generators that automatically start up when the power goes out. They’re quite noisy, so I can immediately tell if it’s a neighborhood-wide outage without even going outside.

I did a thing in the early '90s that seemed like it was a bullshit scam but turned out to be legitimate. This company mailed you boxes of colored brochures advertising boxes of tupperware (actually Anchor Hocking stuff) for $19.95 plus a $7 delivery fee. There was also a big stack of small sheets of paper with an 800 number to call and a special ID identifying me, and I would staple one of these to each brochure. In the mornings, I would drive around and leave a few copies of these brochures at the front desk of businesses, hospitals, wherever I thought people might see them. People who were interested would call the 800 number and order a box or two. In the evenings I would get a fax with all my orders on it, and in the afternoons I would go to a warehouse with a cashier’s check for $19.95 X however many orders I had and then deliver the stuff. Customers would usually pay with a personal check for $26.95 per box.

The fact that I had to show up at the warehouse each afternoon with a big check for the product before I even delivered it was what made it seem scammy. But the whole thing was totally legitimate – prepaying for the product protected the company from getting scammed by their own employees. Every order was real and the customers always paid. Even though it was always personal checks, in a whole summer of doing this only two checks ever bounced, and both times I went back to the customer and they wrote a new valid check (people were really ashamed of bouncing checks in front of their coworkers).

At the peak of me doing this, I was getting in the neighborhood of 120 orders per day, which means I was making over $4000 a week (and effectively tax-free at that, since this company didn’t report anything to the IRS; in fact they never even had my social security number). Which is fucking CRAZY money for a 23-year-old to be making in 1991 dollars. People were just so happy to be able to shop while at work. This shit really was a precursor to Amazon. I stopped doing it to go be a dirt-poor graduate student, which was possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

My personal rage at the moment is this square time format with the two digit hour over the two digit minute. Obviously designed for a smart watch but Android decided it needs to be on the phones as well. I keep turning it off but every few updates it comes back – because the designers know better than me what I actually want.

I assume ignoring it for long enough is tantamount (in their eyes) to accepting it. And then they just issue new terms and conditions a few days later.